


Broken Roses

by Aszter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Langst, M/M, Oops, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-26 14:16:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12559224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aszter/pseuds/Aszter
Summary: Keith was everything he hated, but wanted. Every time keith smiled, Lance could feel his body soar with glee. If only Lance could love him from afar without the Hanahaki disease making a surprise appearance.OrLance gets Hanahaki and decided to risk it all and confess to Keith.





	Broken Roses

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd(is that how you spell it?) so there is a high chance of there being mistakes.  
> This is also based on a song I hate you I love you by Gnash

 

_ Feeling used _

_ But I’m still missing you _

 

Lance could feel them blooming. The pollen drifting up his nose. His lips were slightly parted, gasping for air. Keith had him pinned down in training. Smirking with pride. His bangs clinged to the sweat on his forehead. Lance knew from the beginning, that falling in love with your enemy would only lead to death. Lance knew, and he always promised himself to never, ever fall for the impossible. He told himself, that no matter how perfect Keith was, he could never fall for him. He held back those feeling of his, but his lungs betrayed him. He knew that heavy feeling within his chest were the seeds slowly forming. He refused to accept the fact that they were there. He refused to say he loved Keith. He refused to admit it but, the universe had cruel way of twisting fate.

“I told you, you weren’t gonna win.” Keith breathed out. His warm exhale brushed against Lance’s face. His deep voice rushed through his ears, and straight to his chest. Lance couldn’t breathe.

“I just slipped.” His neck itched, and his chest felt tight. He could feel bile rising up his throat. Lance needed to get out before it was too late. “Get off of me mullethead.” 

Lance pushed Keith off, ignoring how perfect Keith fit against him. Ignoring how perfect his hair rested. Ignoring how  _ damn _ perfect his everything was. His throat itched with each step he took away from Keith. The only thing Lance could do was run away. Just like he always did.

 

Lance didn’t make all the way back. He was one turn away from his bedroom, when the petals were too much. He collapsed to the floor, one hand against the wall for balance, the other covered his mouth, catching the petals before they fluttered to the ground. Shakily he pulled back, staring at the blood red petals. Lance forced himself to take a deep breath, ignoring the overwhelming smell of roses. He felt disgusting. He felt ashamed. He felt miserable. Clutching the petals, he rushed into his room before anyone could catch how pitiful he looked. Before anyone could catch him crying into a hand full of broken roses.

 

_ And I can't _

_ See the end of this _

_ Just wanna feel your kiss _

_ Against my lips _

 

A day passed. The roses were bursting out of his chest at random moments. Causing Lance to having multiple coughing fits throughout the day. His hidden pile of mutilated roses were bunched up in the corner of his room. It was only a day, so the disease wasn’t at a severe state just yet. So far it was only petals, no blood. Soon there will be if his love doesn’t get reciprocated.

He didn’t want to die. Even though he was in the middle of a war in  _ space  _ . He was still afraid of death. Afraid of never seeing his family again. But more than all that, he was afraid of being alone. Lance grew up surrounded by people. Without having someone by his side made him feel empty. Especially here in space.

Someone was always with somebody, except Lance. Pidge was usually with Hunk, Allura was with Coran, and Shiro with Keith. Whenever Lance attempted to join one of the pairs, he felt like a third wheel. The whole team made him feel like an extra, unneeded fifth wheel. The seventh wheel if you counted Allura and Coran.

Lance felt like he was dying even before the Hanahaki Disease invaded his lungs. Now he was sure of it. Loneliness kills. With every breath he could feel the thorns on the brink of piercing him from the inside. Yet Lance didn’t want to give up. He wanted to keep loving Keith even if it meant dying. Taking in a shallow breath, he decided that dying was exactly what he was willing to do. He just wanted to kiss him. He wanted to know if his lips were soft. Or maybe they were rough. Lance stood up from the cold floor of his room and faced the door.  _ Deep breaths _ . The door opened and he stepped outside. He needed to find Keith.

 

_ And now all this time _

_ Is passing by _

_ But I still can't seem to tell you why _

_ It hurts me every time I see you _

 

Lance found Keith on his way to the training room. Lance rushed to grab his arm. He whipped his head around and shook his arm free. Keith immediately scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brows. 

“Dude how much perfume did you spray on yourself. You reek.” 

“Hey! I’ll have you know  _ roses  _ is my natural scent, and I smell  _ amazing _ .” Lance crossed his arms. He had no clue on how to approach this- feelings of his. Sure Lance flirted with everyone but that was just a defence mechanism. A way to avoid dealing with actual feelings like love. 

This was going to be the first time Lance has ever attempted at something that made him feel so vulnerable. His hands felt like they were buzzing. He wasn’t sure if he could do it. Each breath felt like swallowing sand. He tried force the words out but he couldn’t. Keith started to look concerned. 

_ Say something! _ Lance’s mind blanked. Focused on Keith. Focused on the feeling inside his lungs. Focused on anything but the moment. Fortunately, Shiro made his way in.

“You two training?” Shiro’s voice snapped Lance out of his trance. He tried not to mentally shame himself for being unable to say three  _ short _ words. 

“I was  _ just _ about to challenge Keith to fight.” Lance tried to laugh it off, but Keith knew something was off. 

“Well don’t let me stop you two.” 

“The only person here doing the stopping is gonna be  _ me _ .” Lance pointed himself with his thumb and smiled smugly at Keith, who returned a smirk just as smug.

“Oh  _ yea _ ? We’ll see about that.” Keith took a step back into a ready stance. Lance wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to train when his lungs were filled, but he decided maybe this was good. Savouring the time he shares with Keith. 

“You are so on.” Lance got into the same stance and as him. Shiro fell into the role of referee. 

“ _ Go. _ ” And the battle began. Even though, Lance knew that Keith would be victorious no matter what strategy Lance pulled, and that was fine. It was good.

 

_ Realize how much I need you _

_ I hate you, I love you _

_ I hate that I love you _

_ Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you _

 

Keith was in the cryopod. During the intense battle, Keith protected Pidge from a high powered beam. Of course the whole team was upset about it, especially Pidge. Despite everyone telling her it wasn’t her fault, she continued to blame herself. 

Lance knew he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t show, not when Pidge was like this, but the roses inside of him were betraying him. The urge to cry and the exploding petals made him feel more suffocated than before. He could’ve  _ lost _ him today. He would been gone, and shortly after Lance too. His unrequited love would never be returned if Keith was gone. 

He walked over to Pidge and enveloped her in a hug. The others were quick to follow. Despite being squished to death, Lance managed to squeak a reassurance to Pidge.

“Don’t worry so much Pidge. He did that because he loves you, and he wouldn’t want to see you beat yourself over this when he comes back out. So cheer up alright?” Pidge held back her tears the best she could, only nodding, afraid that if she spoke the tears would fall. After a moment, everyone let go of the group hug. Now it was only time to wait for Keith to heal. Who knew how long that would take.

“Lance you were hurt too, weren’t you? I saw you get hit byー” Lance interrupted Hunk before he continued, he couldn’t risk going in there.

“You mean me? I don’t  _ do  _ hurt. It’s not good for the skin you know.” Everyone in the room let a sigh, not revealing how secretly relieved they are for having Lance lessen the heavy mood. 

Lance could feel the remnants of the laser blast lingering on his back. That can heal by itself, he didn’t want the team discovering what grew inside him.

Suddenly Lance felt the sharp pain inside his lungs, as if the mere thought had triggered it. Lance slipped out a quick excuse and rushed outside. After taking a quick turn around a corner, he could feel his legs give out. With each cough, he could feel the petals burst out. His nose was attacked by the strong stench of roses and his eyes stung from the cloud of pollen. Lance had these episodes before, but this time it was different. There was a vine still stuck in his throat. The thorns clung to walls inside his throat. Lance tried to inhale but vines blocked the passage of air. He tried to force them out by coughing, but this method made the thorns break skin and cough up blood. He was losing oxygen even faster. 

As a last resort, he stuck his hand in his mouth and pulled the vine out. When he finally got the whole length out, he sucked in a large gulp of air. He doubled over, clenching the vine as he gasped for air, eyes forced shut from the pain. After a couple moments, his breathing slowed down enough for him to crack open his eyes. He stared down at his hand, bleeding from clutching the thorny vine. The vine was a dark green, painted with his blood. Bits of the thorns kept the torn piece of his flesh from when he yanked it out. 

Little droplets of water dripped onto his palm. During the frenzy of pain, he hadn’t realized when he started to cry. Even though he was full of petals, he couldn’t help but feel so empty inside. Pulling the broken flowers into his chest, he wrapped his arms around himself. Making himself as small as possible. He knew. He knew couldn’t live much longer this way. His time was running out. He let out a sob, his voice raw from the pain. Why was fate so cruel.

 

_ I hate you, I love you _

_ I hate that I want you _

 

He wasn’t there when Keith came out of the cryopod. It wasn’t really something he could control. His heart ached, and his mind was spiraling. Lance has come to acceptance was his oncoming death. So maybe, just maybe he’s allowed to be selfish. To ask that maybe Keith felt the same? Surely he was allowed that. If it burdened Keith, at least then Lance would know. At least he would know then, there was no what ifs. 

 

Lance rose from his bed, making sure all the petals were hidden underneath his mattress. It made his room smell of roses and the pollen really didn’t help his state either, but it was the most efficient way to hide them away. He steeled himself as he made his way around the ship, in search for Keith. 

 

Eventually he found Keith in the training room. His heart rose to his throat.  _ He just got out of the cryopod and already he’s back here. _ Angrily Lance crossed his arms. He came here to confess to this boy and already he’s questioning why his body decided to die for him.  _ Stupid, emo, mullet haired, idiot, how dare he almost die and go straight to training, stupid-- _

“Lance? What are you doing here?” Keith’s voice broke him out of his mental rant.

“Oh-uh I should be the one asking you that. You just got lasered!”

“Which is  _ why _ I should be here,” his voice starting to get defensive.

“No you should be resting, so you have energy to train first of all.” Lance waggled his finger at him.

“I had enough rest when I was healing in the-”

“Nononono Keithy boy, that does  _ not  _ count as rest. That counts as  _ healing.”  _ Keith retrieved his bayard and started stomping towards Lance. Lance tried to not let his face show the panic that rushed through him.

“Why does it suddenly matter to you if I’m not getting enough rest?” Keith crossed his arm when he stopped in front of him. Lance could feel his warm breath. Keith was still sweating from his training. Hair clung to his skin. Lance swallowed the pollen that threatened to rise.

“W-Well why can’t I worry about a fellow teammate?” Keith was glaring a hole into Lance.

“Because you’re  _ Lance _ . What are you planning?” His heart dropped. They always argued, this shouldn’t had come as a surprise.

“Can’t I just worry about you? Why do I  _ need _ to be planning something?”

“Because you hate me!”

“Okay sure! I hate you!,” Lance choked back the sob growing inside, “But I love you.” 

“You-” Keith paused. His eyes widened, “I-”

“I hate that I want you okay? It’s not like I wanted to like you.” Lance broke. He bursted into tears, he didn’t want it to come out this way. “It’s not like that.” Lance wanted to take it back. He regretted coming here.

“Lance.” He didn’t want to look up. He was too scared to. Afraid to see the disgust in his eyes. “ _ Lance.”  _ Keith grabbed Lance’s cheeks to force eye contact. “I love you too.” The pollen slowed. The flowers hesitated, but didn’t stop. 

“You-what-” He didn’t have time to think up a reply when Keith’s face came closer. Lips closing on his own. Keith’s lips were rough and cracked against his own. Lance wanted to stay like this forever. The moment felt so sweet, despite the salt of his tears. Lance gripped Keith’s shirt, feeling his knees going weak. How did he get so lucky?

 

It was movie night with the Voltron team. Not too long ago, Allura mentioned that there was a theater room inside the castle. So of course Lance and Hunk jumped on the idea of movie night straight away. The room was a bit of a contrast to the other rooms. The walls, floor, and seats were black with glowing blue accents. Other than the accents and screen, there was no other source of light. 

Everyone sat in their own little spot. Since it was such a big room, the paladins could sit as close or as far from each other as they wanted to. 

Usually Lance and Keith sat on opposite sides of the room, but this time they were in the back next to each other. Lance brought always brought his blanket and decided  _ just _ this once, he’ll share with Keith. As the movie began on screen, Lance could feel his hand his Keith’s. He felt giddy. In the beginning, Keith seemed really uncomfortable with anything physical. Now he would initiate it. 

Lance couldn’t stop smiling. His face was often sore, from how much he smiled. Despite all the arguments the shared. They turned out okay in the end. Nothing could ever tear them apart.

 

_ You want her, you need her _

_ And I'll never be her _

 

Lance couldn’t sleep. As much as Lance wanted to, their relationship hadn’t gone pass anything other than holding hands and hugging. They only ever kissed that one time. With his mind made up, Lance snapped upright and swung his legs off the bed. He was gonna go see Keith.

As Lance made his way towards Keith’s room, he heard voices. There was arguing between… Keith and Allura? He couldn’t make out the words they were saying so he snuck a little closer.

“--tell him?!” that was Allura.

“I can’t just tell him! I  _ told _ you that.”  _ What? Tell who? _

“You two are always fighting, how can he  _ love _ you?”  _ Me. They were talking about me _ .

“I don’t know but it’s too dangerous. What if he get’s hanahaki?”

“You said you could remove can’t you? The cryopod can do that!” 

“He wouldn’t want to do that. If he did, he wouldn’t have even told me in the first place.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to  _ sneak _ into your room every night just to see you.” Lance watch Allura raise her hand to caress Keith’s face.  _ No _ . Keith did the same and brought her face closer.  _ Nono. _ They kissed.  _ Nonononono _ . The flowers bursted back tenfold. Lance held back the whine as the his lungs stretched to contain the flowers and multiplying. 

“Did you hear that?” Keith’s voice felt like a dagger against his heart. Lance scrambled out of there. The tears were hot as they dripped off his face. 

 

Lance fell down against the cold floor of his room. The room felt suffocating but there was no where else he could go. The flowers were worse this time. His coughing fit scraped his throat raw from the vines and roses. Roses and vine soon led to chunks of flesh and blood. Lance screwed his eyes shut, trapping the burning tears. 

> _ Keith grabbed Lance’s cheeks to force eye contact. “I love you too.” _

_ It was all a lie. _ He pressed a hand against his mouth, preventing anymore loss of blood.  _ It was all a lie. It was all a lie. It was all a lie.  _ His whole body shook as he sobbed.  _ It was all a lie _

  
  


_ All alone I watch you watch her _

_ Like she's the only girl you've ever seen _

 

Lance stayed up cleaning up with blood with some old shirts that got ripped up from battle. His body was pale from the lack of sleep and blood. With the best he could, he plastered on a smile and made through the rest of his day. 

He spent a lot of the time watching how Keith and Allura silently glance at each other.  _ How could I be so stupid _ . He could he not see how his eyes lit up. How could he not see how much more he smiled around her. How could he not notice how much Allura loved him back. How could he ever think he had a chance with Keith. How could he even allow himself to believe that? Why would anyone ever give him the time of day. 

He was Lance. And the only thing Lance ever was, was a waste of space. Lance didn’t need to pilot the blue or red lion, when Allura and Keith could do it just fine now that Shiro was back. Lance was just an extra piece to a completed puzzle. 

 

_ You don't care you never did _

_ You don't give a damn about me _

 

Keith and Lance were resting together in the lounge area. Holding hands, leaning on each other. 

“Hey Keith, do you love me?” Keith turned to him and raised a brow like it was the dumbest question he had ever heard. 

“Yea of course, why?” Lance could feel him gripping his hand tighter. The pain stretching inside him was growing increasingly more painful with every second spent with Keith, but Lance didn’t care. He just wanted to spend his last moments happy.

“Just wanted to hear it.” Keith gave a chuckle as they fell back into silence. Lance closed his eyes. Taking the moment before he was all gone. Keith smelled like sugary lemonade. His smile was like the sun. His hugs were like clouds. But his lies were so bitter sweet. So painful, but Lance even loved his lies. He loved everything. But Keith loved nothing about him. He only did this just to please Lance. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

How is it you'll never notice

That you are slowly killing me

 

Lance’s room was almost unlivable anymore. The smell of roses filled the hallways. Thankfully everyone on the team just thought Lance was dousing himself in perfume. His end was coming. Instead of feeling afraid, it was almost peaceful. Everything can finally stop. 

Lance was on the ground leaning against the wall when the coughing came. The roses would fly out in pieces. The vines would scrape and pull chunks of flesh from his throat. The blood was bad but usually he managed with the cryopod but, this time, it was Shiro’s turn in the cryopod which meant he couldn't sneak in. 

It didn't seem to matter anyways because the coughing didn't stop. His head was growing cloudy. His vision was growing dark spots. The pain was gone, he felt numb. 

Eventually the coughing did came to a slow, but the roses did not. The vines suffocated him as they crept up his throat. The roses bloomed in his mouth. He didn’t regret removing those flowers. Never would he want to forget his feelings for Keith. Blinking away the tears, he couldn't help but feel happy. He died in space. What more could he ask for.

 

_ I hate you, I love you _

_ I hate that I love you _

 

_ He was like a painting. So beautiful. Against the cold grey walls, there he sat. His blue eye stayed stark against the bloody red. The roses were merely decoration.  _

_ His hands were holding the bright roses and vines on his lap. The blood pooled all around. Still growing as more dripped from his chin. _

_ I couldn't help but watch as his chest was slowly expanding. Growing and growing until it bursted open a wondrous red. There was a burst of red petals and beads of blood. The rose bush had taken over his rib cage. The smell of roses doubled. _

_ With an exhale, I couldn't help but smile as tears rush down my face. Something so beautiful has to be fake. I reached out for his face, but a pair of arms held me back. They were shaking. Or was I?  _

_ I waited from him to stop pretending. When was he going to to stand up and declare the joke? When was he going to laugh again? Laugh at my choice of hair or my choice of fashion? I would go along, pretending I was fooled with even though I knew this had to be fake. I loved him did I not? Did I do it wrong?  _

_ When I tried talk, my voice felt foreign. Ah, I see. I'm crying. This was real wasn’t it. How could he be so cruel. Leaving me behind with such a beautiful death and the intoxicating smell of roses.  _

_ How cruel of you. How do you expect me to remember roses without remembering your lovely corpse surrounded in my color of red? Did I not love you enough? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a btw this was inspired by the song _I Hate U I Love U_ by Gnash

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I tried something related to the Hanaki Disease, so I hope this makes sense? If not feel free to tell me  
> Also if it wasn't clear enough, the last bit was from Keith's perspective. And no he never kissed Allura. That was the hanahaki and his insecurities playing tricks on his mind. :D


End file.
